Yep, I had to face it this weekend. I landed at urgent care with a raging sore throat and terrible cough. I had successfully put it off; but now the moment had arrived. I had to face the number on the scale. This hate relationship with the scale started early for me. If I am brutally honest, I have avoided trips to the doctor many times because I simply didn’t want to face it. Please don’t judge me too harshly. The number on the scale has way too much control. I readily admit it. That number can dictate how I feel for the day. It can bring shame, guilt and embarrassment by the droves. It can also bring enormous amounts of relief, success and short lived happiness. However, what it never has provided is freedom.
This particular doctor’s visit confirmed many things for me. It confirmed a major throat infection (no strep, thank God) and bronchitis (“ain’t nobody got time for that”). What I have dwelt on since the doctor’s visit has not been concern for my own health. Nope. I have been consumed with the fact that the number on the scale is up. You see, I have been struggling with my weight my entire life. The last couple of years, hormones and menopause has made it more difficult for me to maintain my weight, let alone lose. For the last few months, I haven’t felt like fighting it. And the number on the scale shows it.
Why do we allow this number to have so much control over us? I know that I am not the only one. I work in the fitness industry (I laugh that God has made this part of my story given my serious issues with self esteem associated with my weight). I have witnessed the look of complete devastation on a client’s face after facing the number on the scale. It is heart breaking.
I remember when my current boss (who is a fabulous, fit, God-fearing woman) suggested that I consider becoming a certified Personal Trainer. My thoughts went something like this, ‘Are you kidding me? I don’t look the part. The struggle is beyond real. I am living proof that you can’t out exercise poor eating habits. Who would ever look to me for advice on getting in shape. You must be seriously delusional.’ Why do we allow the number on the scale to dictate what we are worthy to do? Or not to do?
I have lived 45 years allowing the number on the scale to dictate so many things: whether I will be in the picture, whether I will go to the beach or pool, whether I will feel attractive that day, whether I will enjoy lunch with my family, whether I should wear that outfit or not, whether I am worthy to be loved. In fact, while I am being honest, I can probably tell you what the number on the scale was during each season, vacation, happy or sad time of my life. And it played an unnecessary role in each one of these occasions. (Yikes! Lord, please help me not be the only one.)
I have been leading an amazing Bible Study for women by Kelly Minter, entitled, “No Other Gods”. What I am realizing is that this number on the scale is a false idol for me. It has sold me a lie about who I am. I have allowed the number on the scale to take up way too much space in my life, mentally and emotionally. And I am so tired of it. It is beyond time to lay this one down. It is beyond time to replace this idol with my Lord and Savior Jesus and let His truth reign in my life.
I am so much more than that number on the scale. I am made in the image of my Father in heaven. “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. There is no law against these things.” (Galatians 5:22-23 NLT) Now, my friends, this one scripture is some solid truth that I should sink my teeth into instead of the number on the scale.
Are there struggles or idols that you have allowed too much attention in your life? Lay them down. Let them go. They are nothing more than stumbling blocks that keep you from serving and pursuing the only, One True God. Let’s get on with living boldly for Him.
He is the only number on the scale that matters. He is my number One!
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10 NLT